You Are Here……..

Right after Christmas I took one of the many internet quizzes that randomly appear on my Facebook newsfeed – Find Your Mantra for 2015. As usual, I took the bait and took the quiz.

I don’t expect much from these quizzes. Who does?  However, up popped my “mantra” and I was a little shocked.

You are Here – my mantra. Serendipitous. It is what I hope this year is all about; it is part of the reasoning behind this blog. To be present, to pay attention -to life, my health, my well being. To be here.  My habit has always been to reassess (worry about) the past and contemplate (worry about) the future.  I plan to change that.

You Are Here. The X on a map, the starting place, the beginning of a journey.

I write this as I sit waiting for a plane to take me to Hong Kong. I go to stand witness to my son and daughter-in-law as they renew their vows of marriage and begin their journey together.

I will also be paying attention to how travel affects my diabetes. How difficult is it to travel and maintain schedules, meal plans, exercise?  Looking forward to finding out and reporting back.

Safe travel – wherever you are; wherever you are going.

Jane

PostScript

This diagnosis is not new to me. I’m sorry if I gave that impression. I have had diabetes for quite some time and have been playing games with myself despite fully understanding the health consequences. Blogging will hold me fully accountable. I am not a goal oriented person. For me it is truly the journey that interests me and the blog is my way of documenting the journey and hopefully being real about the long term struggles for diabetics – health and motivation to stay committed. I swore I’d never journal, but I guess this is a pretty public journal and hopefully people can gain some insight, some knowledge and some motivation to persevere.

And so it begins……

Today I am a blogger, a slightly intimidated but determined blogger. A new blogger, so cut me a little beginner’s slack.

My my commitment to you, dear reader, is honesty, help and hopefully heaps of humour.  (Alliteration is my friend today.)

A diagnosis of diabetes:  Easy, right? There are worse diseases to have, right? Balance your food, your exercise and your medication and all will be well, right? Wrong. It is true that there are worse diseases to cope with, but diabetes is anything but easy.

By the time I had my first visit with a dietician, I was already trying to figure out a way to cheat the diabetes trifecta – food, exercise and medication. I was smart. I was sneaky. I could fool these specialists. Hell, I only had to see them once every six months. I could do what I wanted and clean up my act before my next appointment.

To the outside world (family included) I was righteous. I was in control. I was doing well. I could spout off nutritional facts at a drop of a hat. I impressed the heck out of everyone. But the real issue for me was CONTROL, and I didn’t have it. For those who know me, I like control; I am uncomfortable without it.

Thirty pounds later, I was still fooling people that it was all good (at least I think I was). Another thirty pounds, I could no longer fool my doctors.  They weren’t buying my story and they were pissed. I was wasting their time.  Add ten more pounds and I could no longer fool myself. I was not and never had been in control of my diabetes.

And so here I am. Laying it bare. Being real. Ready to begin my journey to health.

Join me?

“Even the longest journey must begin where you stand.” – Lao Tzu, Chinese philosopher.